An Update
My plan was to post this on the 5th of September, but on the 4th, I got a call from my brother that I had lost another aunt. I say lost like it was the ring I misplaced earlier this year, my aunt died. The grieving was not easy mostly because I had to take my own advice, and it turns out that medicine is very bitter. It was also no easy because we had an interesting relationship. I love her, she loved me, but she hurt me in ways only people that love you can, and she did it well. One of the many unfortunate things about her death is that I can never let her know how angry I am, furious even because even though I love her with the fierceness of a thousand suns, she made me feel terrible and I have had to carve out a space for her, where I can simultaneously hold the anger and love I feel. I feel the need to explain myself because I planned on writing often. It’s a thing I love and enjoy, and it’s also a thing I have been told I am good at, but every time I picked up my pen or sat before my keyboard, the anger, rage, and love I felt became like a weight upon my fingers and a cloud in my mind. The weight isn’t gone, but it's much lighter, the cloud has lifted, however, there is a fog in its wake, but here goes, it’s titled the Mourning Routine.